Teenagers are delightfully and exuberantly exploratory and do not take well to being ordered about. Even adults tend to bristle when being lectured or told how to behave, and they seldom set good examples for others. Moral deceit is quite evident in many of our adult leaders, and teenagers are quick to identify hypocrisy.
Buddhism has a long history of not demanding that others conform to Buddhist spiritual views. Rather, the dharma (teaching) speaks of going within to examine the causes of suffering and then eliminating, or at least minimizing, harm to self and others.
Rather than issue stern moral edicts or threaten a teenager with severe consequences for engaging in one of the most universal human activities, a Buddhist would counsel a teenager to examine their motivation to have sex and, in particular, what is the root of the desire? Is it self-esteem? Revenge toward an authority figure? Raw hormones? Get pregnant? Or is it the “I don’t know” teenage rationale?
If we help the teenager to discover the root cause of their desire, we can address that rather than the result of any subsequent behavior. The decision to behave responsibly comes from within and not from someone telling you what to believe and how to behave.
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